Tax Indiana

Pawan Verma


DEAR Finance Minister,

OUR democratic nation’s greatest virtue is that every little boy, no matter how humble his circumstances, can rise in life to become a taxpayer. It is admirable that you recognize this potential, while presenting the Union Budget; and assure citizens that of their earnings during the year, a small portion belongs entirely to them. We are grateful to you, Sir, that in keeping with this noble tradition, this reassurance has been provided to us this year also.

It goes without saying that for the great majority of us, who remain too busy with our mundane work to contribute anything to the nation, taxation provides the ideal opportunity to do something patriotic. It gives us a chance to work and earn for the government without passing the civil services exam. It also serves the cause of social justice as it enables those who work, to pay those who don’t; and those who earn, to pay for those who can’t. In fact, other than death if there is any leveler, it is taxation alone, the only difference being that death does not kill in installments and it does not become worse every time parliament meets.

Of course, there are a few amongst us who like the Americans, resent paying high taxes. As you know, for an American, even the three stripes in their national flag – red, white and blue – have connections with their taxes. They get red when they think about them; white, when they get the bills; and blue, when they fill in the returns. And they see stars when they pay their taxes. Nearer home, in our national flag, saffron teaches us renunciation of all our wealth and possessions; white encourages us to lead a simple life; and green symbolizes our happiness as something is left to us after paying taxes. The only difference is that instead of seeing stars, our head spins like the chakra after paying tax.

But, I can assure you Sir, that this apathy to taxation is true of only a small minority. The majority of us take pride in paying high taxes. So, irrespective of what others might say, I hereby offer a few suggestions to improve our taxation system.

First, every family should be encouraged to have at least three children. On growing up, while the two would pay the taxes, the third could support the family.

Secondly, although you have so generously ensured that our entire gamut of life is adequately covered by taxation, one important area, inadvertently left untaxed so far, needs your urgent attention. Hence, I recommended the introduction of a new tax, namely the Valentine Tax, whereby every married couple, who make love to each other, should be taxed. I am certainly not advocating a case for taxmen prying into our bedrooms. I have a more foolproof system. The couple should be taxed every time they are blessed with a child.

I assure you, dear Finance Minister, no man worth his salt, will evade paying taxes on the pretext that it was not his doing.

(First Published in The Times of India, Edit Page, dated 23.03.2000)