The Reincarnation Time

By Pawan Verma

The only time I believe in reincarnation is at 5.00 o' clock in the evenings, when all the dead people in my office come back to life. It is an everyday experience that when they come to work in the morning, the body enters the building, but the soul stays away. The body, thus lifeless during the day, joins the soul only in the evening, and hence the rejoicing at the reincarnation.

After the day-long separation, the eagerness of the body to meet the soul waiting outside, has to be seen to be believed. Although an avid watcher of the body and soul union scenes for the last 15 years, I could appreciate the intensity of the jubiliation only last month, when there was a practice fire drill in my office. On ringing the fire alarm bell, the 210 employees evacuated the two-storey building in three minutes and 15 seconds. But the same evening, when time was clocked, the building was cleared in exactly two minutes.

The service industry I am working in, is undergoing customer-orientation these days. Unlike in the past, the customer is always right now and he is the focal point of all business activities. Such an attitudinal changeover, however, is not an easy process, as I recently learnt in a State Government emporium, which is also writhing in the throes of a similar transformation. The agony in the voice of the angry sales girl said it all when she scolded a harassed lady customer, "Go easy, madam. The days when I used to insult customers are still fresh in my mind."

Having been rule-centric for ages, it is not possible for public sector companies to become customer-centric overnight. A friend of mine recalls an episode, when a customer had problems claiming his monthly pension which had been in arrears for two years. While his current year's payments were settled, those for the previous year were withheld since he had not submitted existence certificate for the previous year.

But it is not always the rules and the manuals which create the problem. Sometimes, it is the customer too. I witnessed an encounter that my friend had with an important NRI customer, who had come to discuss the prospect of raising a housing loan. My friend, the housing finance manager, enthusiastically explained the details. But, the NRI was not impressed. In his newly acquired anglicised accent, he asked, "So I have to mortgage the plot to you? What for? What for?"

"That will be security against the loan, Sir", said my friend.

"And you want me to mortgage my building and my insurance policy?

"Funny !" , he continued, "Just for a loan you'll mortgage my plot, building and insurance policy. Thank God, you didn't say you will mortgage my wife as well."

At this point, the reticient office Assistant could not restrain himself,

"Sir, for executing the mortgage, we will accept your assets only, not your liabilities."

(First Published in the Times of India, dated 20.07.1995)